Un- everything.

Let me start by saying I had an AWESOME weekend!

On Thursday night I went to the see Harold and Kumar again with Lee, Friday was the rehearsal for the wedding in Lake Arrowhead - then I came back to Long Beach since I had to get Lisa, ended up going on for the night with Ryan and his amazing friends (I seriously have never met an entire group of people that are that awesome... they rock!), got a couple of hours of sleep, drove back up to Lake Arrowhead around 6/7ish (YAY for Starbucks!!), chilled and got my hair "did", went to the wedding, went to the reception, had way too much fun talking, dancing, playing with my food (I made the face of a pig out of mashed potatoes, zuccini, cranberries, green beans and pieces of chicken), and cake frosting (Ryan, Bebe's boyfriend started that one!). Then Lisa and I came back to LB, hit up Yogurtland in our dresses, went back to her house and thought we were calling it an early night, but instead went out again with Ryan, Tim and Vicky. We thought we were going to see the movie "Wanted", but it was sold out. Instead we hit up a pool hall and played a few games. I hit the 8 ball in twice! Yeah, I know, I was surprised too.

And today I went out and saw the movie with Ryan's friends and went out to lunch. We were all going to go to the beach and the idea sounded like a great time, but I really needed to come home and study for my anthro test (i.e. the one I am procrastinating on as I type) so I was dramatically torn. I have spent the last too many months working hard and not playing and the last time I went to the beach just to chill? Hmmm... years ago? (I'm not counting last month when Lisa and I vented about our ex-boyfriends) . Then as we were walking back up to our cars to head out Ryan informs us that he's going to call it a day and head home. K, gotta be honest- he was my main reason for going out to the beach today- if I didn't have to study, I would have gone regardless, but I think I kinda like spending time with him... sigh. I don't even know about that anymore.

Which brings me to the topic of this blog entry, "un- everything". I really liked this boy, then he started acting differently. So I stepped back- kinda a bummer, but it happens (k, honestly, a first for me). His friends, like mentioned before, are awesome. End of discussion. I like hanging out with them. And right now, as it stands, I like hanging out with them way more than the boy. Like today, I would want to say something that came to mind as we were all at lunch and I would look at the boy and he'd be staring at the tv. If he even did make eye contact with me, it took too long and I was over trying to make conversation, so I would talk to Tim. Don't get me wrong- I LOVE talking to Tim. He's a great guy, but it would have been nice to talk to the boy too. It was just way awkward. I stopped thinking about it and had fun, but now I really don't know what to do.

Basically, I feel as though the boy really doesn't like me. Just plan out doesn't ever want to see me again. And normally I'd be like "peace out" and it would be done, but his friends are wonderful (I can't say it enough- great people!) and I would be oh so sad to never chill with them again. And for some crazy reason, I still kinda like him... just a little bit.

I'm tip toeing on barbed wire. Not the smartest thing to do.

Everything is unfamiliar
I've never been this unsure
Things are slowly seeming more uncomfortable
And it's making me uneasy.

*sigh*

The Good Ol' Days of Spring Semester

What a wonderfully relaxing day.

Anthro class was pretty exciting as we talked about gender roles and sexuality of various cultures. Christina (a girl who sits next to me) and Anna (ditto) were fun to talk to as usual, as was Gary (a guy who sits to my right), even though he is usually pretty quiet. We talked a bit during break about weddings since both Christina and I are attending them this weekend. Our professor, David said a good line I will keep for future weddings that I don't think will make it... he said once he was invited to a wedding. His response upon hearing the verbal invitation? "Don't invite me to the wedding, save my invite for the divorce, I'd rather attend that"... or words very close to that. Oddly enough, that couple divorced within a year of their marriage. David was pissed he didn't get the invite to the court date.

In other news totally unrelated, Erik, or rather "High King Erik the Magnificent" had some free time in his schedule and we talked for a bit today. Wow, that dude is hilarious. If you didn't know this, I feel sorry for you.

Speaking to Erik today reminded me of many things, like how great spite can be, the necessity for minions, how evil beards truly are, and most importantly, the time we watched the Sesame Street Movie, "Follow That Bird" and the greatness that unfolded throughout the night.

I don't remember why exactly Erik had to watch that movie... I believe it was because he secretly longed for it for many years now, only he could not recall the title and was too prideful to ask the help of the Blockbuster staff. I think he used the excuse like "it was a class project" even though we all know Erik is a history major and they never do anything fun like projects... especially involving Big Bird.

Anyways- so the night started out with BJs pizza in celebration of... something? Who cares why- it was pizza night!! Woo Hoo!! Erik had mentioned a Big Bird movie made back in the day. Since I had a pretty sweet childhood, of course I knew of this movie and I helped him to remember the title, "Follow That Bird". We walked down to Blockbuster after he begged and pleaded with me to watch it with him (a simple "want to watch this movie?" would have been just fine...) and sure enough, they had one copy on DVD!!! We snatched it and headed back to Erik's lil studio, while listening to fun music on his ipod.

We sang, we laughed, we cried, we... well more like I laughed at Erik for crying, and had a great time overall. Man, that crazy Big Bird is so... trusting. Luckily all of the kids he met were really nice and helped him. And I must say, Sesame Street is one great community of... "special" people. They're all a bunch of pansies, but would do anything for a friend- and loyal till the end. Needless to say, I loved the movie :) I think that may just have to become a yearly event to celebrate the end of the school year... we shall see.

After the movie, Erik and I built forts. Mine was more of a burrito with me inside. Erik won that one.

All I have to say is "Burrito, Wrap!" is better than "Drawbridge, down!" ... or at least it should be!

I love reminiscing on fantastic moments.

It's times in the past like these that make me look forward to the future.

`,:\ = Confused Face

Boys are sooo frustrating.

I'm starting to think I am better off without them.

Mornin'

Good morning world.


What trouble will we get into today? :)

Mondays are bittersweet

Here's the sweet part:

So I went to church last weekend because I'm kinda into the whole getting back to my Catholic roots thing. I looked at the bulletin, as usual, and didn't expect to see anything relevant to my life and/or interests (though I am contemplating this whole Wednesday night Bingo thing...). However, to my surprise there was a section that said Catechists needed at all levels to help with religious education...

This sparked my interest on many levels, seeing as how I am an aspiring teacher and how I like to get involved and volunteer what (little) time I have to share. Oddly enough, a few weeks ago I was wondering if there was a way to get involved in the CCD program at the church... coincidence?

So today I called up the Religious Education office to see where I could contribute and they asked me if I would be interested in teaching the 6th grade class!!! Oh wow. I was shocked!! I told them I lacked experience, but they said they were willing to train, and after all, it doesn't seem like it would be all that difficult, since it's not a year with any sacraments. I suppose this summer would be a good time to brush up on my Bible skills though.

We'll see what happens. I really hope they let me teach!!! I am going to the office tomorrow to fill out an application.

Yay for Jesus!!

Because I Couldn't Sleep Last Night

Around 2am I couldn't fall asleep still so I wrote this:

Hello there Moon
My dearest friend
So kind of you to stay.

The sun has set
The day is through
And everyone has gone away.

Yet Moon you never leave me
At night you're by my side

And when it has become the day
Still in the sky you hide.

You have seen me laugh
And seen me cry
Enhanced my smile at the beach

Guided me home when I was lost
And thought shelter was out of reach.

Moon, tonight I ask a favor
Something different than before

You see I'm not ready for tomorrow
And what may be in store.

I have no one else to turn to
Dear Moon I am so scared

Do not let tomorrow be today
I am not yet prepared.

I beg you Moon to stop the sun
Please do not let it rise

Promise me you'll be victorious-
assure the Sun's demise!

-me.

It could use some work, but for now it will do.

Overwhelmed

It's funny... I have more free time now than I did for the past... well years and still life seems to be more intense than before. It has been a crazy week, one I do not think I was ready for, and yet, here I am- alive and well.

I have just been informed that my laptop is running off of "reserve battery power", which is quickly decreasing. And it's already tomorrow... an hour into the day even.

So I will update this later. Yay for sleep! It helps the time pass.

Lack of sleep does not produce a quality title.

Yesterday was pretty awesome.

I slept in until 9ish, got my hair cut at noon, got new, much needed tank tops, had lunch with Helga, ran a bunch of errands, walked with Jess and then went out to meet up with the boy for his friend's birthday.

I love my haircut! I have the most fabulous hair dresser, Tony. He's sooooo funny (probably because he too is a Libra) and great at cutting hair! He's in his 50s (but looks 40), from Puerto Rico and when he gets excited about something his accent gets contagious. We first met when I went in for a haircut last minute on St. Patrick's Day a few years ago and he was available. That same night I went on my first date with the ex and Tony and I were pretty sure he'd be my stylist for the wedding ;) So naturally I tried to get in to see him as soon as I could after the break-up. Well I told him the story yesterday and I cannot express how FUN it was to talk about it. Tony is hilarious!! Hands were waving, jaws dropped, lips smacked, eye brows raised and lowered, and heads were shaking when I told the story. He reminded me of how much I rock and waved "bye-bye" to the ex. Ah, so many smiles were to be had at the salon. He gave me extra homework too and wished me luck with the new boy. I gave him a massive hug and bounced away still giggling a little bit.

Giggling... why do I do it?! I mean, I laugh a lot, but I never giggle. I don't get it!! I've been all... happier than usual lately. Weird.

Wow- ok, so lunch with Helga... it was very informative. I updated her on my past 6 months or so and she did the same for me. It was almost ridiculous in that some of the things I said about people on my end related to how she was acting on her end. It was difficult not to judge, but I think I held up nicely. I mean, I love Helga!! She's so... Helga! I just worry sometimes.

So I took a walk with Jess to complain about things. Jess is one of the best people ever. He has always been there for me since moving down here and he's hilarious too!! And he usually tells me I am right... because I am. Plus, he tells me the things I don't want to hear, but need to, which is good for me. And last night he helped me pick out what to wear - hahaha that was fun :) Excitement is also contagious... I love that.

So after the day had turned to night, I got a call from Ryan (yes- that is the name of the boy. I'm tired of saying "the boy") to chill in Huntington Beach for someone's birthday. I got ready (thanks Jess!!) and met up at this place called Aloha something. I was sooo nervous to meet Ryan's friends too! I really shouldn't have been- they ROCK!! I think that was probably the most fun I have had around strangers :) They were all so welcoming and fun, even when I was nearly asleep I didn't want to say bye. I really hope I see them again. Great, great people!! After I left the bar around..2 ish, I chilled at Ryan's and fell asleep for... not long enough. I got up at 4 since I had work this morning at 5am for the Special Olympics and surprisingly enough, I wasn't too tired at work! I didn't pass out until after I came home, at 8 this morning :)

K, well it's back to work and then I'm kidnapping Elyse tonight! Yay!!

I'm planning on seeing Ryan again tomorrow during my break between work and studying. *sigh of happiness*

I can hardly wait.

<3

<3

Best weekend in a long time.

That pretty much sums it up.

Being Home

Every time I come home I realize just what I have been missing out on. I have the greatest family in the universe.

I have so much to write, but I'm also going off of 4 hours of sleep and I really don't function well on less than 6 hours... but I will do my best.

I got new boots!! Did I mention how I have the absolute BEST daddy in the universe? He took me out to the tractor supply store where they also have boots and clothes... oh! And I got a shirt. Very country :) Then we all went out to eat at Ludy's, a place to get good BBQ in Woodland. I was perfectly dressed for the occasion! It was great seeing my grandparents and my Aunt Diane :) I also saw Gary and Deana who always make me feel special too... very nice people for sure. It is so funny how every time I doubt myself or feel as though I am failing, I have people to encourage me and remind me how proud they are. But why is everyone so proud? I'm just doing what I am "supposed" to be doing in life... and I'm slacking! 6 years of college starting in September...  I wish I could just say that I am modest, but to be truthful, I do not feel as though I have done enough to be proud of... yet. But I love being loved- so I'm not complaining :)

After dinner, I went with my brother to see the play my sister is in, "A Streetcar Named Desire". She plays the roll of Stella, though I wish there was some way that she could have played... well everyone else too. Seriously, if Blanche had not been committed at the end, I would have done it myself. Enough said. I did go out for drinks after with Amy and some of her co-workers so that made up for it. Soooo much fun!

So today is my Daddy's Birthday!! WOO HOO!!!! I made a cake this morning around 2am. Then, I was so graciously woken up by our puppy at 7am. It was good though because I still had to finish the frosting and add fruit to the top. I think it went over well because my dad called 30 mins after he arrived to tell me everyone loved it... and it was gone.  I knew I should have stolen a piece before frosting!!!

After I chilled a bit I went out to see Sex In The City with my sister and some of her friends. It was a really good movie! I'm glad I finally got to see it!! There were definitely parts I could relate to, and even though I haven't seen a complete episode of the show, I was able to follow the movie (Lisa and her mom were right about that), so that was a plus.

In other news, I think I should not spend too much time with the boy I like. I have a feeling I am going to get hurt, and really, it's not worth it right now. See, this boy is ridiculously cute, sweet, and chivalrous which means he's probably trouble. And I was online, about to leave him a message on facebook and it seems he's... I don't know how to word it, but I'm thinking he has more girlfriends than I do. Just a guess. Haha, gotta love the internet.

So it's back to Long Beach tomorrow :)

And then back to Woodland in a few months :)

How to Stay Awake?!

I seriously need to sleep.

I went out last night with an amazing boy and had such an great time that time itself fast-forwarded. I got home with a million tiny butterflies in my stomach that wouldn't let me sleep until well after 3:30 in the AM. Now this would not have been so bad except for the morning obligation I had, known as anthropology class... at 8am. I had my alarm set for 6:30ish so I only got about 3 hours of solid sleep.

Class was fun - the teacher is a nut!! I honestly don't remember much of the morning. We didn't start until 8:30 because our teacher has no key yet due to the administration filing his ID late. Then he told a collection of stories that consisted of adventure and... well I don't know- I was zoning out. I also met some new people, sat by Christina again and had a nice conversation about suicide and karaoke.

Breakfast was fun today. I had a Diet Dr. Pepper until Kevin kidnapped me for some baja fresh. Nothing like a quesadilla at 11am :) Oh man it was tasty. He also gave me $250 in McDonald's gift cards for helping him with his math last semester. Wow. Parfaits for... eva!! Woo Hoo!! I really wish I had more free time to hang out with Kevin. He's one of the few people in Long Beach I consider family - as much of a punk as he can be, he's awesome.

After breakfast, Lisa and I went to look at condos with her real estate agent, Kara. Oh man, it was fun!! There was one condo that had two doors leading into the bathroom and another bathroom door that connected them all... so Lisa and I opened the doors and ran around in opposite directions like crazy people. That was fun crossing paths in the closet space.

Now I'm home... trying to stay awake so that I wont be up all night, but it is so hard to do!! 

I kinda really like this boy.

Just... a little more than a little.

*sigh*

He gives me butterflies.

Balloons? Or No Balloons?

It's Lili's birthday today!!!

What a busy weekend for her! First her graduation and then her birthday. Wow. It has been way fun too! Tonight we're going to Claim Jumper's for dinner at 6:30.

I can't wait!!

Take the wings away from time- It is flying too fast!!

Man, summer school starts on Monday... as in tomorrow.

In a few hours I am going to church :) It's Father Al's last day at Our Lady of Refuge because he's moving on to another parish. He is a wonderful priest who I have enjoyed very much (the two times I've heard him)! And he's the priest who went with us to Project Achieve once in a while. Such a great guy. I will miss him and definitely wish him the best of luck :) Something tells me he wont need that, seeing as how he is pretty tight with the big man up there.

I still can't believe Lisa graduated!! I'm working on her "just because you're an awesome friend" present right now. I swear, time moves sooo fast. Seems like yesterday I was getting grass cuts between my toes from playing in the sprinklers and drinking from the hose. And riding in the truck with my daddy to go camping or fishing or anywhere... even the hardware store was fun. Though some things haven't changed- I mean, I still ask for kids' menus so I can color when I go out to eat, and dance parties are still frequent and I have some of the best friends in the world, everything is just a little different. 

I am growing up.

On the update side- I forgave him for everything he did. I do not know if it meant anything to him, but it was a struggle for me. Yay for strength from GOD. 

I really am growing up.

Let's do this.