GRADE-WATCH 2008

So the anticipation builds as grades as slowly appearing on mycsulb.

I am anticipating a 4.0, but there is one class that may be on the borderline.

As it stands:

Aerobics: A
Karate: A
Science-Education: A
**UPDATE** Number Theory: A


Mathematics- Elementary School: ??

And grades are not officially due until January 2nd.

AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

K, lunch time with AMY! WOO HOO!

Oh Happy day!

Gotta love having the afternoon off.


Soup, Cookies, and a Christmas Story tonight!!!

Excited doesn't begin to describe me at the moment.

<3

Late Night Snacks Taste The Best

And late night conversations are slowly becoming a new favorite of mine as well.

Haha, and bad poems from ex-boyfriends from 4 years ago

Farmopoly is good too.

I'd have to add my family to the list of best things.

And my dog Cody, up in Woodland... he's the best dog ever, even though he's kinda like a bear... a very cuddly bear to play fetch with and walk :)

In 3 weeks I'll be home for like 4 days, then off for 3 weeks to Ireland, I hope that's the best too :)

K, now time for class... not the best, but I like my lab group, I have to say out of the whole class they are the best... and out of all the professors offering the course, we definitely have the best one too :D

<3

Smarter Than a 5th Grader?

You Betcha.

I highly doubt a lil 5th grader could pass all 3 sections of the multi-subject CSET on their 1st try.

Yep, I PASSED everything!!!

So Halloween wasn't a total waste :)

I am so celebrating in Vegas this weekend with Lisa!! Woo Hoo!!

K, back to Science.

Thank You Jesus!

What a crazy couple of days it has been! (Haha, what else is new right?)

So I went to Palm Springs for the weekend for the CMC math conference with Johanna and Courtney from class. We stayed in the sketchiest hotel EVER, volunteered waaayyy too early in the AM, went to a few talks, saw a gorgeous security guard, left early and hit up the strip... we found a place with a great happy hour, chilled there for a bit and then walked around the city some more. Well, we met a lady named Sandy at the welcome center and she convinced us to buy tickets to a show that night for $10. The show was a variety show with a man named Jeff Trachta... who I guess is really popular around old people. But they loved us at the show, so it was cool :) Then we had a few more drinks, some frozen yogurt, became sheriffs, and came back to our car only to realize it was towed! That was eventful getting it back. But alas, we got the car back, then made it back to Long Beach somehow (I was out in the back).

That's the short version.

Moving on-

My Pa (grandpa) had brain surgery today to get a tumor removed. It wasn't said to be life threatening, but they don't know whether or not the tumor is cancerous. We're waiting to hear about the biopsy. Anyway- he made it through the surgery and seems to be doing great in recovery!! I just wanted to say how grateful I am and am thus dedicating this night to be spent at home, with family :)

And only ONE paper/project. The rest can wait.

Thank you God for watching over my Pa.

I am not ready for you to take him away yet.

MIA

So I will be MIA all week.

After work tonight I will be studying for the CSET
After class tomorrow I will also be studying for the CSET

On Friday... yes, that's right, as in Halloween, I will be working and then studying fo the CSET.

Saturday morning?
At 6:30am I will be driving to Costa Mesa to take the CSET

And then I'm passing out.

So if you don't hear from me for a while, just assume I am fine :)

Come Monday I should be back to "normal"... which means that I'll still be over worked and under paid, but at least I'll be smiling!

I am not looking forward to working tonight. I think I'm the only one from Parkside going over to Residence. Hopefully they don't make me do anything... because that would be awesome.

Then it's more laundry and the CSET practice tests.

I hate science.

I have so much stress to get out - Karate is going to rock today.

:)

Inhale... Exhale

And get back to work.

What a busy weekend!!!

I am so behind on everything, it's insane.

Luckily I have a 3 hour break from Karate to CCD... I'm tempted to not go today, since I have one absence I can use...

Done.

No karate today.

Homework is getting completed and then it's off to CCD :)

I feel better now.

Though I will miss class :(

But now I can look back on the weekend and enjoy everything. I love not feeling stressed!! Yay!!!

It was awesome- Amy came down and visited and though I had way too much work to do, we had a great time. I can't wait for her to come back!!

Alright, back to work.

Another Monday

Wow.

I seriously can't believe the week has started yet again. This whole being sick thing has really thrown off my sense of time. I wish, oh so desperately, that today was Friday. Even though I spent the majority of my weekend at home (only leaving to kidnap Lisa for much needed and deserved pedicures... and going to work), time flew by so quickly!! And I am exhausted!

In other news- my caterpillars are now well on their way to becoming butterflies!! The first 3 I brought home have already made crysallises (spelling?) and the second group of 4 are getting so big (and eating the tissue paper...) So in a week or so I'll have a room full of butterflies! AHHHHH! But I'm excited. I never thought I'd grow so attached to these little guys :)

Well my cold has almost passed, which is good because I really don't have time to be sick- especially since Amy is coming in to visit on Thursday. Which reminds me, I have to wash my sheets... and clean my room.

AHHHHH.

I wish it was Friday.

What What!

This weekend was amazing.

Work
Rancho Santa Margarita
Nearly 3 hour trip to Denny's
Phone calls to Aaron for directions
Almost running over crazy people
SAN DIEGO!!
Burritos
Haunted places and dolls
BABY!!
Driving back to LB
Guppy's tea house- For FREE
Pinky waving
Poster making
Finding a "House Centipede" on my wall (google image it... sooo scary!)
Waking up late
Rides from Jina to CSULB
Cheering on the Marathon runners
Hugging Randy
Walking home
Laundry
Work
Enhancing already made poster for Randy (had all the lunch ladies/chefs/dishroom guys/ runners/ boss sign it)
Celebrated
Worked
Went home
Laundry
Looked at the dead house centipede on my wall
Posted this blog.

And AOII has a song by DJ Scrilla now!!!

FINALLY!!!

AOII
Click "Alpha Omicron Pi" and it will automatically download :)

Ohhhh yeah.

A movie by Amy

My Saturday in a nutshell



Amy- I miss you!!!

And Now I'm 23 :)

YAY!

I had an amazing birthday weekend :)

On Friday, Amy arrived after I got off work and we went out to Acapulco for chips, salsa and drinks. The cantina was pretty dead (which is surprising for a Friday night...) so we sat by the water and laughed the night away.

On Saturday we took the train to Hollywood and met up with Amy's friend, Steve. At first I was skeptical about meeting Steve, but he turned out to be a pretty chill dude. We walked down Hollywood Blvd and ended up at a place called "The Cantina"... who has Happy Hour 7 days a week from 3-7pm!! Woo Hoo!! It was perfect because we stumbled across the place around 3:40. Our bartender/waiter was ridiculously cute!! WOW. His name was Jason and he gave us a free shot of a "comfortable pirate"... it was tropically delicious. Yay for having a birthday... and a nice smile ;)

So then we called Matt Dahlberg to wish him a happy birthday! He said to take a picture with a star, and we did... literally. We found a blank star on the walk of fame and I am going to photoshop in his name (even though I don't actually use photoshop, but saying I am going to copy the picture to the paint program I have then create a transluscent text box to write the desired words out just doesn't sound as hip). We also took a picture with "Rambo" in front of the wax museum. It was fun because we didn't have any dollars, so he let us take a picture for free. What a nice guy :)

After that we went to a convenient store and bought a gift for Matt, which he'll be getting. I doubt he reads this, but for the sake of the surprise, the gift and story that goes with is (and there is one, hahaha) will have to wait. Then we hopped on the Metro, met some Australian boys, gave them a ride home, went home, had an AMAZING birthday dinner (My Aunt can COOK!!!), went back out to 2nd street, then picked up the Australians again, went to Yankee Doodles (LOVE that place), played pool and celebrated the night away... Oh yeah, and liquid cocaine, the drink not actually coke, is INTENSE. But you know you're with good people when you say "surprise me" and they bring back the strongest thing they can get. Props to Jina.

We went home, didn't sleep much and the next morning, or rather that same morning, I took Amy to the airport around 7:30 AM. Not so fun, but worth every minute of the visit to sleep for 2 hours. After that I attempted to sleep, but took a shower instead and then met back up with Daniel, one of the Australian boys, for breakfast (which turned into brunch) at Scooner or Later. Soooo good, as always. Then we said good bye, as he was leaving the country hours later, and I headed home around 1pm for a much needed nap. I finally laid down in my comfortable, queen sized bed (with clean sheets!!!), set my nap alarm for 30 mins, closed my eyes and... 5 minutes later was awoken by Kevin. Hahaha. Oh well. So he gave me some awesome birthday presents and a beautiful long stemmed rose :) I wish I was more conscious when he was over though. It was so sweet of him! He wished me a happy birthday and said to go back to sleep, and I did. But I think we're hanging out later this week/end, so that'll be fun. Then 10 mins later, my nap alarm went off and I was up and out the door for work.

Story time. Again.

I arrived and told everyone it was my birthday (I am sooo humble, I know!) and was getting hugs and smiles left and right, so my energy level was up. Benito, the pastry chef even made me a cake!! Autumn arrived and brought balloons and a really funny card and I felt ridiculously special. I cannot even begin to say how I felt. It is an amazing feeling to know that I have such great friends an family around me. (oh and don't even get me started on my wall on facebook/myspace, hahaha. WOW). The first group of people to arrive even sang "Happy Birthday" to me. I think I was as red as a tomato.

So then work got CRAZY BUSY. So we'll fast forward. I was dying and then... at 7:30 (literall minutes before we close)... the power went out. The emergency lights were flashing and everyone had to be evacuated. GREAT. I was like "seriously?!" And we all went out to the back loading dock and had to chill till the power came back on so we could clean. Then I rememebered the cake Benito made me was a CHEESECAKE and it was in a refrigerator that had no power... So we had Ed, Jack, Brandon and Sam go on a mission with me to rescue my cake, go and get milk, cups and forks for everyone. It was too much fun. I ran across the dining hall with a little bucket and filled it with as much milk as I could.

It was a SUCCESS!!

We had cake, milk, cups and forks! So we put the cheesecake on a milk crate and sat around in a circle. Everyone sang happy birthday and we charged the cheesecake. I have to say, for being stranded on a loading dock, we had such a fun time!!! And we danced around. Kinda cool to have a power outage and flashing white lights on my birthday :) And some friends stopped by too!! It was like a scene from a movie.

Then I went home, checked my messages and continued to feel loved.

Thank you to everyone who helped celebrate my birthday! Either with me in person, via text/phone/internet, or in spirit. It was definitely one for the scrapbook.

I love you all.

The celebrations have officially begun!

For my birthday that is :)

Last night I drove to Ontario after work and met up with my Daddy and some of his co-workers who were in town for a work thing. We went out to El Torito for margaritas, (mexican food for the guys, I had already eaten before I came), and ever so delicious dessert! Only problem is, I burnt my lips on the spoon. See... this brownie concoction (made of brownie, flan, ice cream, whipped cream, chocolate and caramel sauce, and yummy chip things) came on a "sizzlin" platter... meaning it was hot. Well... my metal spoon was on this same platter and so after I blew out my candle (while wearing a small sombrero), I picked up the spoon *note- the handle was NOT hot* and attempted to take a bite of deliciousness. As soon as the spoon touched my lips it immediately burned them. Not a fun way to start off dessert. So I iced it a bit and the night went on.

We then went out for drinks back at the lounge in the hotel the guys were staying at. Around 12:30ish some of the guys were tired and went to bed, and the rest of us stayed up drinking and talking until about 2. Then I woke up around 6ish, went to breakfast with my dad and headed back to school for class. I made it with 5 mins to spare to my first class, but being an aerobics class with limited sleep (ok, I would have gone anyways) and a science "quiz" (the real reason I skipped), I thought I should take some time to rest. So I did.

And the day continues...

Class again in a few mins

Then more class, with a group "project" (aka test).

Then 6pm

Then stuff at 7

And hopefully seeing Alex at 10ish

Then... sleep? Because that would be AWESOME.

YAY I saw my Daddy!!

I love him.

Prepare the Butterflies

Tonight is the first official "class" night for CCD. Needless to say, I am starting to get nervous... even though I still have 7 hours until class. I have looked at the lesson a bit, but am hoping that Max (my co-catechist) will plan tonight's lesson. Only problem there is that I have both teacher's manuals since I have yet to meet up with him again (since July). So, things should be interesting. Worst case scenario, I improvise. Thank goodness for so many years of theatre camp!!

In other news, I don't feel so well. Last night around 3am my stomach started hurting and I thought I was going to be sick. I woke up from a nightmare and was decently sweaty (not fun). Fortunately, I managed to fall back asleep around 5am after tossing and turning in pain. I'm thinking it had something to do with the milk I had that was no good, but alas, it could be due to a number of things.

And that mixed with anxiety for this evening is not a good combination. Hopefully Karate will take my mind off of things.

Speaking of other things...

My birthday is in less than a week!! 6 more days to be exact.

Annnnnnnnnndddddd...

AMY IS COMING TO VISIT ON FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!

Woo Hoo!!!

Ah, I feel better now :)

Yay for happy thoughts!

A day for ME

That would be ME as in "Michelle and Emma"

Woo Hoo!!

I can't wait! I have no idea what we are going to do, but I'm sure we can find something fun :)

And I had an AWESOME dance party in the dining hall last night!!

Alright, time for lunch with my lil homie.

I'll sleep in a bit...

But for now, I'm sipping delicious Godiva caramel, hot chocolate :)

mmmm MMMMM.

So here's what I did yesterday:

Spent nearly all day waiting to be finger printed in San Gabriel for CCD stuff
Went to Hollywood with Erik for the show.


and I was told to check out a few bands that ended up being really good! So that was fun.

Oh yeah, and I like wine now.

And today was Catechetical Sunday at church. During mass the congregation gave all of us Catechists their blessings and we were also blessed with Holy Water. It was very encouraging and empowering... and a little bit scary because the realization of being a 6th grade CCD teacher began to set in.

Woo Hoo!

K, I am way more tired than I thought I was.

Good night :)

His Excellency

That would be High King Erik the Magnificent.

And he is exactly that.

Tonight was Taco Tuesday night at Del Taco. No matter how crazy the week(end) is, that's the one thing I can always look forward to - eating lots of tacos and catching up on everything on Tuesday nights with Erik.

There were some great moments to be had with my favorite being the comparison of diet soda to Erik having his way with a "pretend woman" (aka blow up doll). Now you might be thinking "Wow, sounds like you had to be there", and you'd be right. And unless you are Erik (Hi Erik!) then you were not there and I am terribly sorry that you will never know what a joy this evening truly was.

Maybe next time.

By the way, when you were young, did your parents ever....care...about...you..?

(again, you had to be there for that)

I love understanding random moments like that.

What a great night!!

K, back to homework.

In need of a Nap.

ZzZzZzZzZzZz

I had such a fun weekend!! On Friday I worked till 8pm, did some laundry and cleaned the house. Then on Saturday I ended up getting lunch with Allan and seeing Batman :) Oh yeah, and we had ice cream afterwards :) Wow, it was so much fun!! And I must say that even though it was my 3rd time seeing Batman, it was still awesome... though the company may have influenced that some.

Saturday night I had a few friends over and as far as I know, everyone had a great time!! I don't remember the later half of the evening, but twister was way too much fun (although I lost... multiple times). I think it was a good group of friends and I can't wait to do it again!! I even have plans to go out with the girls to a very friendly club sometime in the near future. Should be fun :)

And then there was work yesterday. I woke up around 1:30pm which gave me just enough time to shower and head over to Parkside. The shift started off decently, then I received some unfortunate news which left me feeling empty. So much so that I couldn't eat during my break. So, needless to say, as the night progressed I became more and more tired and light headed. Not fun. So when my shift ended, I met up with Allan again and we chilled and started to watch Nacho Libre. I think I was out by like 10pm. I hate lacking energy. But I had a very good night overall.

I am so happy that work started at 9:30 this morning as opposed to 8:30 on Wednesdays and Fridays. I love getting extra hours of sleep.

<3

Oh yeah- and I'm seeing Beck, Spoon and MGMT this weekend!!! (finally)

Today is a Good Day.

I like Mondays.

I walked to class from my house and listened to the instructor talk a bit more about the course for half hour. Luckily, he has a way of speaking that grabs my attention. We start practice on Wednesday and I was already informed that those who have taken Karate at CSULB before (even if it was 2 years ago, like in my case) will have more expected of them. Yikes!

Then I walked home which will be a regular thing on Mondays. Now I'm chillin until my CCD meeting at 6.

I got an e-mail from HBHS and I start work on Wednesday!! YAY!!! That's a week earlier than anticipated! Thank goodness! I really can use all of the money I can get right now for this trip. So far I have $30 in savings for my half. Yeeeeeaaaahhh... gotta start somewhere though right?! And so far today I have managed to spend ZERO dollars. Ohhhh yeah! And it's PB&J for dinner later. I even sacrificed Margarita Monday this week so I could save up a little more. Yay!

OH OH OH!!

AND...

AMY IS COMING TO VISIT ME ON MY BIRTHDAY WEEKEND!!!
She's flying down on Friday night- which is PERFECT because I have work till 8pm and she gets in around 8:30! Then we have Friday night, all of Saturday and she leaves Sunday around 8am, which- though sad to see her leave so soon, is good because I have work at 2:30pm and this way she gets home early enough to relax before going back to work on Monday and I still get all of my hours.

I love my sister.

Yay for turning 23 soon!!

Total Curiosity...

Does anyone even read this?

Welcome Back Brunch

So I went to the Dining Hall for brunch this morning/afternoon. I started off by eating with Jessica (my co-worker) and we were joined by Alex, a new dorm resident. We talked about random things we thought of and every time I went to get something to drink or eat, I ran into people from the previous semesters. It was fun :)

Then I saw James at the table next to me, only I didn't recognize him initially! He had his hair cut and wasn't wearing glasses. I think he was in hiding. So I talked with him and his table of homies for a bit. They ended up joining Alex and I at our table when Jessica left to chill with her boyfriend. James told us stories from the past semesters dorm experiences.

All I can say is, bring your own soap in the bathroom.

And I LOVED the chicken joke.

K, time to go to work.

What a great morning!!

One Week Down...

... 15 more weeks to go :)

It has been an adventure to say the least with this whole "getting back into the swing of things". I checked into work on Monday when I was in town and got my work schedule... it was bittersweet. I work on Sunday nights now instead of Sunday mornings, which means I can't feed homeless people this semester. Kinda a bummer, because I really looked forward to it,... BUT I need money, and we'll get to why in just a bit.

K, so day one I went to Aerobics and LOVED the instructor!! We start on Tuesday and I'm soooooooo excited!! My squishy lil self is going to *hopefully* get in (a less-squishy) shape. Woo Hoo! Then I went to my Science-Education class where I nearly ate it as I walked...or rather tripped up the stairs. I met some pretty chill people in my class though. One guy is named Greg, who is one of 16 kids, but he looks like a Charles, and thus I have renamed him. After class, I managed to lose contact with the outside world as I waited in the computer lab in the library for Erik, but I found out my phone has NO service there. So I went to Starbucks by myself and then met up with Kevin at the PE building, where he had found himself a job. I went on to one of two Math-Education courses where I was greeted by Satan himself, in the flesh. After I sat through an hour of Hell 101 (we got out early), I went to my second and last class of the day, my other Math-Ed class. I had the professor before and only took her again because of the hours the class was meeting at. Well, after sitting with Satan, I joyfully approached my last class and sat in the front row. I even answered questions and helped out during group work! Then I realized halfway through class that it was TACO TUESDAY! So I called Erik, who didn't answer, and hit up dell taco by myself :/ But it was still fun.

Then...

Erik kidnapped me and we went out to Dippin' Dots!! And caught up over some of the events this summer :) It was really nice to see him again and I plan on meeting up quite often. Oh oh! We went grocery store shopping too!! It was soooooo much fun! I have officially decided that grocery shopping is better with a friend. Always. And yes, there was a dance party... in the plastic sandwich bad aisle I believe? Or maybe it was with the peanut butter? Well, either way, it was awesome :)

So short story not so short, That was Tuesday.

Wednesday- I walked to school and saw some of my AOIIs :) Then went to Karate and I can't wait to start practice on Wednesday!! The instructor remembered me, even though it had been 2 years and greeted me with a smile and a "welcome back". It was great. He was one of my favorite instructors too!

After class I went to my first night of work back at the Dining Hall. Met some new co-workers, saw the old crew, and had a busy, but fun night :) It's always more fun when we have a full staff :)

Thursday...

Oh my.

K, so repeat of Tuesday, minus Aerobics (instructor was sick), no tripping on stairs, and add going to breakfast at the dining hall (wow, the potatoes were AWESOME). Packed a lunch of peanut butter & jelly, animals crackers, apple juice and a banana :) Then went to the torture chamber of LA-5, also known as my first math-ed class, went happily to my second math-ed class and left early to attend a meeting for study abroad in Ireland.

Before going to the meeting I was going back and forth on the whole Ireland trip, because it's going to cost me $3000 (well $1500, thanks parents!!) and I'm only over there for a month... but that's a good thing, because I'll still be back for spring semester! So yeah, I was first up on the waitlist and was fully prepared to say "no thank you" if accepted, but after meeting the professor and hearing more about the course and the trip, I was soooo hyped on going!! Which is good because...

I got in!

So I leave on December 31st and will return on January 22nd. What a great new Year's :) The last two New Years' were not the greatest.... although my parents have some pretty sweet stuff planned this year.

Alright, so I leave the meeting, grab a sandwich and head off to my last class, an English-Education class. I was in a really good mood, got there semi-early and sat in the middle. I saw a few other people in class that I had previously in the years, so that was fun. Then our prof walks in. She seems... interesting. Well, remember Lucifer from my math class? Yeah, I was way wrong. This English lady makes the math devil seem like a lady nominated for sainthood. Her instructions were unclear, her expected amount of work was more than unreasonable if she's not going to be willing to assist in problematic areas, and her presentation style left me with cut up lips from biting myself to prevent zoning out. I'm sorry, but I'm not sitting through an arrogantly vague, pompous feminist for 3 hours on a Thursday night, when I can take the same class with a different professor next semester and still be on track to finish on the same timeline.

So yesterday, Lisa, bless her heart, convinced me to drop the class. So I did :)

And life is good.

One good thing the English demon left me with was a whole new appreciation for my math professor. She showed me that there really are people with less of a soul out there.

-K, I feel I should include examples. Here are two:
1) One girl approached the english professor at break and explained that she is the maid of honor in her sister's wedding and will have to miss a class meeting (date was noted) and asked what she could do to make it up. The student even offered suggestions, like turing in work early, but didn't know what to do about group work we were scheduled to have that day. The professor responded with "well, you wont be here. I don't see how you're going to be able to participate in class at 7 if you have to be somewhere in Long Beach at 6:30" and the girl said "Is there anything I can do?" and the professor replied "Well, as a professor, what do you expect me to do? If you're not in class, I can't do anything about that" or words to that extent... ok and this lady just got married (somehow) within the last year, so surely (if anyone attended the wedding) she should understand the importance of a maid of honor.

2) I asked about the structure of one of our weekly assignments, seeing as how I never had an assignment formatted in such a specific way (nor had the people around me who were just as lost). So I began to say "On the QHQ, the majority of our page will be our hypothesis section? and the Questions are only a sen-" I was about to say sentence until she cut me off with a reply of "it's on Beach Board. You will submit them on a forum and then print it out. And I'm sure you can figure out how to do that".
Does that seem like an appropriate response? I surely do not think so. Didn't even answer my question. So I stopped being involved.

Then Friday- I worked dinner again.

We were short by 4 people. Talk about craziness.

I got burnt twice. My blistered fingers are not happy with me.

But it was nice staying in, talking to Allan a bit and relaxing :)

Life, Can I Have Some Lemonade Now?

DMB postponed their show due to "extenuating circumstances"... we think it might be because the Sax player (who was not currently on tour) died... which is a total bummer, but they announced it the DAY of the show... and the guy died a week earlier. So who knows, maybe it was something else, but it would have been nice to know a few... oh I don't know... DAYS before?!

*Sigh*

Packing tonight :)

I started packing a bit yesterday and got a lot done. I was on a roll and then watched the movie "Charlie Bartlett" with my Daddy. Pretty good movie! I laughed a lot.

Oh man, I can't wait to get back and see movies at the $3 theatre!!! I have seen 3 movies since being home and I have to say, I really like going out to the theatre!

Tangents that connect things together are awesome :) Usually I go off on tangents that aren't that similar- I think I stayed pretty close to the main idea of movies on this one :) Then again, I really didn't write a whole lot.

Alright, it's time for bed. Today was a good day. I am going to miss Woodland.

Well, not so much Woodland, but the people in it... that I am related to.

We'll Make The Best Of What's Around

Tomorrow night...

Good Times are to be had!

DAVE MATTHEWS BAND SHOW!!!!!


And I'm going with AMY!!! WOO HOO!!

Survey Says...

Here's a little bit about me.

Are you ready for 100 questions?
I got a 13 hours to kill before I wake up tomorrow, so sure.

Do you watch college football?
Not on my own. If it's on somewhere then I'll watch.


Who will fill this survey out after you?
Probably no one.

Who was the last person to send you a text message?
Allan. He sends some pretty funny messages.


Are you happy?
Absolutely!


Where was the last place you went shopping?
The card place in Davis that my sister took me to. Soooo my new favorite place.


How do you feel about your hair?
I love it! Could be trimmed and I am getting an itch to dye it, but most likely neither will happen.

Last thing you ate/drank?
Oh man- awesome dinner tonight! I ate tri-tip, broccoli, and homemade garlic bread. I drank a propel... berry flavored a little while ago

Do you wish you were someplace else right now?
Kinda wish I was back in Long Beach so I could go for a walk... I am getting a bit out of shape.

Do you have any pet peeves?
OHHH yeah. I hate when people show up unannounced. Also, when people spit where others are walking, and littering to name a few.


Do you have any expensive jewelry?
I have a $300 ring and a $200 AOII badge... those are pretty expensive in my book.

AIM or Yahoo?
AIM


Do you like math?
Love it!!! In a couple of years I will be surrounded by basic Algebra... everyday :)

How many hours on average do you work a week:
when school starts, about 30


Favorite baseball team?
Oakland A's Baby!!


Favorte NBA team?
Eh. None.


Do you watch the Olympics?
HAHAHA! I watched a few minutes of ping-pong and saw the USA girl's team captain in gymnastics mess up.


Last restaurant you went to?
Burgers & Brew in Davis. That place is mighty tasty!!


Who was the last person to call you?
Jon Anderson


What’s your sign?
Libra


Do you have a favorite number?
Yes. It's 5... in case you were wondering that too.


Last time you did volunteer work or made any donations?
Last month- I made kalhua cupcakes and cream puffs for the homeless :)


What do you spend the majority of your money on?
Hmm... clothes for a while. Now usually on going out to eat/ drink


Where does your family live?
Well I have three "homes". One family is in Woodland (my parents), another in Long Beach ( My aunt and uncle) and the last family is in Henderson (Lisa's parents). And I have family all over the United States... and a cousin in Japan

Are you an only child or do you have siblings?
Older Sister and a younger brother- I'm in the middle :)


Do you drink beer?
Mostly just when I'm in Woodland


Whats your favorite color?
GREEN! Any shade pretty much


Did you ever collect Beanie Babies?
DID, yes. I had a pretty sweet collection too. I wonder what ever happened to them...


Ever bought anything online?
Yep! Textbooks, clothes, gifts, cds, etc

Myspace or Facebook?
Both are pretty chill


Do you have T-Mobile?
Haha, no. I have Verizon.


Do you sometimes wish you were someone else?
I sometimes wish I were some PLACE else, but no, not someone else. Everyone has problems, and I know what mine are. If I was someone else, I'd have to find out the hard way just how much their life can suck. Plus, my life is pretty all around awesome- Yay for a GREAT family and AMAZING friends!

Last time you saw your parents?
Today :)


Do you have any talents?
Yes. hundreds.


Ever been in a wedding?
I was a flower girl for my Aunt Carrie and this past June I was a bride's maid for my AOII big sis, Carla


Do you have any children?
No, but I call the kids I work with at the elementary school "my kids"


Last movie you watched?
Hmm... Step Brothers with Amy and Elio on Saturday


Are you missing anyone right now?
Yeah :( My Long Beach friends- especially Lisa.


Did you take a nap today?
I take a nap almost everyday :)


Ever been on a cruise?
Three of them. I LOVE cruises


Do you have any wealthy friends?
Yeah, but you'd never know it.


Ever met anyone famous before?
I'm related to someone famous, her name is Amy, and she's my sister. She's kinda a big deal.
Other than that, I've met a few. Tends to happen when you mostly live in Southern California.

Favorite actor?
Denzel Washington


Favorite actress?
Hmmm, I don't like too many. I'll get back to you on that.


Are you multi-tasking right now?
I was earlier. I was eating chips and salsa w/cream cheese, talking on the phone and looking up "Robert" on Urban Dictionary.


Could you handle being in the military?
If I wasn't deployed, yeah


Are you hungry or thirsty?
A little bit hungry.


Favorite fast food restaurant?
In & Out, then Dell Taco and then Sonic


What is your average cell phone bill?
Ask my dad :)


Do you own a camera phone?
Indeed I do! It's a Verizon "Alias" phone


Ever had to take a sobriety test?
Nope. I don't intend to ever take one either :)

Do you believe in Karma?
Sometimes.


Can you speak any other languages?
I took many years of Spanish, but can only speak a little. And I have a tendency to blend words together when I'm thinking too much, which can sound like another language


Last time you went to the gym or worked out?
A year ago? I don't have my membership anymore. I walk outside now and we have weights at my house :)


How many pairs of shoes do you own?
Hmm, ok, one pair of running shoes, 2 closed-toed shoes for elementary school work, 3 pair of skate shoes, 2 pairs of converse, a lot of flip-flops, and maybe... 3 pairs of heels?

Do you have a photo hosting site that you use?
I did... waaaayyy back in the day.


What is your college mascot?
Prospector Pete at CSULB and it was Ole the Viking when I went to LBCC

Ever been to Las Vegas?
Three times now :) And yes, it HAS redeemed itself :)


Have you ever been gambling in Vegas?
I like the quarter slots.


Do you have your wisdom teeth?
Not anymore! Got them taken out when I was 19.


Favorite place to be?
Too many. Really, anywhere if I'm with my family (and LIsa & Erik, you're totally included in that)

Have you been to New York City?
Twice actually

Favorite sit down restaurant?
Hmmm... I like... a lot


Ever been to Disneyland?
Going a week from Thursday :) I live 20 mins away from it in Long Beach.


Do you have a favorite cartoon character?
Homer Simpson


Last thing you cooked?
Green Beans :) with parmesan cheese and garlic


How is the weather today
86 degrees today. Not so bad :D


Do you email?
Everyday.


Last letter/piece of mail you received besides junk or a bill?
A thing from my Aunt with some LB mail, that included my CSET scores (the ones I passed) and my CSULB parking permit for fall


Last missed call?
Not sure- and my phone is sooo far away.

Last voicemail you received?
Mike, and I got it like an hour too late to meet up again with him! Damn.


Do you drunk dialed/texted?
Haha, only sometimes to a very select group of people.


Stupidest thing you ever did with your cell phone?
Well I went to the beach with it once and it drowned, not the smartest thing to do to my cell phone... Hmm WITH my cell phone? I'd say... hmm. I'll have to think back because I'm sure there is something... hmmm.


What is the best city in the state that you live in?
Long Beach! Woo Hoo! No, I don't know, I'm pretty lucky to be in California with so many awesome cities.


Did you just die?
Yep. Is it that obvious? Damn.


Are you bored right now?
Nope, I just got back from Comedy night. I'm pretty amped.

Last concert you went to?
Justice. No worries- I am seeing Dave Matthews Band on Monday, which will redeem concerts for me :) And then Beck w/ Spoon and MGMT in about 3 weeks :)


What do you think about before you go to bed?
Nothing really. I try to clear my mind whenever possible and pray before bed. Sometimes I think of the things I have to do the next day.

What are your plans for tomorrow?
Have fun!

Should Have.

I really like the Taylor Swift song "Should've Said No"... so much so that I just bought it on itunes. I went over to my Nana's and Pa's house a few days ago and we talked about things like always and the mention of this song came up. My Nana told me that she thinks of me when she hears it after the stuff that happened with my ex and me. I never thought of it that way, but I'm glad she said that because really, in some ways that song really does apply:


"It's strange to think the songs we used to sing
The smiles, the flowers, everything, is gone
Yesterday I found out about you
Even now just looking at you, feels wrong
You say that you'd take it all back, given one chance
It was a moment of weakness and you said yes

You should've said no, you should've gone home
You should've thought twice before you let it all go
You should've known that word, 'bout what you did with her
Would get back to me...
And I should've been there, in the back of your mind
I shouldn't be asking myself why
You shouldn't be begging for my forgiveness at my feet
You should've said no, baby and you might still have me

You can see that I've been crying
And baby you know all the right things,to say
But do you honestly expect me to believe
We could ever be the same...
You say that the past is the past, you need one chance
It was a moment of weakness and you said yes

You should've said no, you should've gone home
You should've thought twice before you let it all go
You should've known that word, 'bout what you did with her
Would get back to me
And I should've been there, in the back of your mind
I shouldn't be asking myself why
You shouldn't be begging for my forgiveness at my feet
You should've said no, baby and you might still have me

I can't resist
Before you go, tell me this
Was it worth it
Was she worth this...

No no no no no no

You should've said no, you should've gone home
You should've thought twice before you let it all go
You should've known that word, 'bout what you did with her
Would get back to me
And I should've been there, in the back of your mind
I shouldn't be asking myself why
You shouldn't be begging for my forgiveness at my feet
You should've said no, baby and you might still have me"



I'd say so.

My Nana is awesome. I love talking to her. My whole family rocks :)

Seriously, so good to be home for the next week and half :)

Just a Little Thing

Tonight I was called "Charming"

And it made me smile.

Never really thought of myself as charming, but I'll take it!!

Usually I am called "a smart ass", "sarcastic", "beautiful", or just all-around "awesome". It was kinda nice and completely unexpected to be called something of that nature.

Charming.

It's such an elegant word.

In other news, I still haven't heard back from my kindergarten "honey pot", Matt. I haven't seen him in years and am attempting to kidnap him... but he'll probably be ridiculously busy. I can't hold it against him, after all I keep myself waaaaayyy too busy, but still- it'd be so nice to see him for 5 minutes.

And Erik is planning on being back in Long Beach on the Saturday before school starts. Sooo not fair because I wanted to go with him to the Bowers Museum in Santa Ana to look at the Terra Cotta Warriors!!! GRRRRRRR.


OH! Ok, there is something else.


So Amy, my sister, kidnapped me tonight and we went out to the fair. We had a great time and got the corn dogs we had been craving all day long. As expected, we got a few looks and one of the guys at one of the exhibits was totally flirting with me. Then he asked "Are you Single?" when Amy chimed in that we had to go... and we left. At first the question didn't bother me.

"Are you single?"

Seems like a legit question to ask someone. Not very sly, but gets straight to the point. However, Amy brought something to my attention. A guy should ask something like "oh, so your boyfriend...blah blah blah" to which the lady would reply "oh, but I don't have a boyfriend" or whatever. It's smooth and playful AND gives the girl an out if she wants it without there being a stop in conversation completely. So then I thought back even more. Over the past couple of weeks I have been asked if I was single over 10 times. And now I'm almost insulted.... does it look like someone like me would be single? (granted I am, but still, that's besides the point) AND would the guy asking even have a chance with me? (well, probably, I give nearly anyone the time of day... I just don't know how long things would last for, but still)

An innocent question has now been dissected by Amy and me, which is a dangerous thing to have done. Next time someone asks me if I am single, they had better watch out. I'm taking insult to that!! They had better be sly until I forget about this whole thing.

Yay for being charming!!!

66.7% Of The CSET Done!

33.3% left to go.

And that would be the math and science subtest.

I am SOOO happy that I passed BOTH the "Reading, Language and Literature; History and Social Science" subtest and the "Physical Education; Human Development; Visual and Performing Arts" subtest on my first try :)

When I left from the test site almost a month ago, I really didn't know if I had passed or not. It did seem easier than anticipated, but I know there were a good handful of questions that I knew nothing about... and my essay on Ancient Rome and the changes brought about by the takeover of the churches would probably make me embarrassed if I read it now. I am eagerly awaiting my official scores for that one! (I checked my unofficial score online and if you pass they don't tell you the score, but if you don't pass they break it down online... I will get stuff in the mail in a couple of days that will break everything down for me... I think)

So hopefully tonight Amy wont be at her rehearsal too late because I want to go with her to this yogurt shack place she keeps talking about.

OH! AND Amy was nominated for an Elly for her role as Toinette in "The Imaginary Invalid" so there's even more reason to celebrate!!!

Yay for good things!!

Ah-Ha!

So today I was thinking about...

Love.

And why boys fall for people like me and Lisa rather quickly.

My cousin Jess is a very intellectual individual. I think he would do quite well as a philosophy major, but he has chosen Marine Biology... anyways, that's beside point. Getting back on track: Of our billions and zillions of conversations, one of them hit me today. You see, Lisa and I have a tendency to meet people who end up liking us too much too soon most of the time. I don't mean to sound so full of myself by any means- in fact, it is not something that I think is such a good thing. Usually it ends up being a new friendship where a secret crush is revealed years later (and this has happened... many many times). So how does Jess play into this? And where am I going- because it seems like I just wanted to sound full of myself? Great questions. Here are the answers:

Jess said one time that I look for the good in people. Like when I meet someone, I tend to look past any "undesirable qualities" and just have fun getting to know the good sides of people. My sister is definitely opposite in that regard. She doesn't "like people" and until today I never quite understood what that meant. So I put it into a teaching analogy (seeing as how I am going to be a teacher in the next couple of years).

Ok- so there are typically two ways a teacher can start their grading scale:

Option 1: Everyone starts with an A and has to work hard to keep it
Option 2: Everyone starts with an F and has to prove their way to an A

Lisa and I are like option 1. We see people at their best and give them the benefit of the doubt that they are fun, chill and worth our time. Then time is the true test of character, only after too much time has passed and we finally see people accurately by our viewpoints... we tend to... well, not be in love.

Amy, my sister, is like option 2. She doesn't give just anyone the time of day. Sure you can be nice, but she will LOOK for ways to see right through you. You have already failed before you even said hello and you didn't even know it. However, after time has passed and you have somehow managed to keep her interest, she will generally end up being a lifelong friend or fall in love with you.

There are benefits to both styles, but I wish I was more like my sister sometimes. I just have difficulty NOT being so... nice. Lisa and I talked about this today and have come to an inconclusive conclusion.

And now I am breaking down and buying the song "Burnin' Up" by the Jonas Brothers.

Seems fitting.

Keeping Me Eyes Open

AHHHHH!!!

So I just took the scariest shower ever.

I sorta have this fear while taking showers that something or someone will appear if I keep my eyes closed for too long. I think I got it from all of those scary movies and haunted shows that I watch, but regardless it has (thankfully) never prevented me from taking a shower :)

However, I never keep my eyes closed for too long when rinsing off shampoo and washing my face or what not.

So a few minutes ago I took a shower here at my parent's house in Woodland.

Water temperature was good, I had my favorite shampoo and soap, towels were set and I was ready to get oh so fresh and so clean, clean. I wet my hair, got a small handful of shampoo and proceeded to "lather, rinse and repeat"... but something horrific happened....

As soon as I touched the shampoo to my hair, I closed my eyes for a minute...

and the lights/fan went off

and stayed off.

The water was running and the hallway lights were still on and shining through the crack at the bottom of the bathroom door.

My heart started racing and I did the best I could to keep calm and finishing washing up.

I hauled ass and got soap in my eyes a few times from keeping them open as much as possible... I don't even remember blinking, but the pain was worth not being eaten by a ghost or crazy serial killer.

As soon as I got out of the shower and was wrapped up in a towel the power came back on.

AHHHHHHH!!!!

Then it turned out that my mom had blown a fuse or something...

*chills*

What Happens In Vegas...

Gets texted to Allan.

WOW. Vegas was AMAZING!!! I had such an incredible time with Lisa that Vegas HAS in fact redeemed itself! YAY!!!

I will reveal more later- I have a bazillion things to do before I drive home to Woodland TOMORROW!

<3

Ah, boys... I mean, men :P

Things are Shakin' Up down south

So apparently we had an earthquake down here in southern California. It was centered in Chino, an interesting place that's like... about 45 mins from Long Beach, and went all of the way up to Los Angeles. It was a 5.8 I think on the lil scale. Well, when it hit the Orange County area, Lisa and I were driving stuff from Long Beach to her new place in Rancho Santa Margarita and we didn't even realize there was an earthquake until.... we got to the empty condo (so nothing had fallen) and Lisa's phone starts flashing new messages and her mom is calling. I got all excited that MY family cared about me too, so I ran down the stairs (after moving like 20 boxes from her house, to my truck and from my truck to her new condo... on the 2nd floor), grabbed my phone, ran upstairs and...

I had one text from Cowboy Andrew, one of my buddies in Woodland. He asked if I was ok :) Sooo nice.

So then I sent this message to my family and a few friends:
I said I was dead from the earthquake.

Then I talked to my Daddy who said "Oh, I wasn't worried. You know how to swim... And you like Beachfront property". Ah, I love him :) Then my phone kept turning off randomly, which I thought was interesting. BUT Lisa's phone was doing the same thing. Some people were saying it was because of the earthquake, but I'm thinking it's the network... but she has At&t I think? or T-mobile? And I have verizon. Hmm. Anyways.

Ok- and the "war paint" is from moving. I was in a tank top and shorts with my running shoes for the move and it was the final touch to get hyped up on moving a bunch of boxes in the heat... during an earthquake nevertheless!!

So then we unpacked most of the stuff and cleaned up a bit, went to Lowe's and bought a screen door... that was an awesome adventure. Luckily, we got the door back successfully without it becoming a kite (we had it tied down...sorta) - you had to be there. Since it was taco tuesday, we took a break and ate lots of tacos! Ok, I only had 4, and Lisa had 3 I think. Then it was more housework until we finally headed out hours later only to get lost on the freeways. It was pretty fun though. We joked about how we might be going to Vegas another day early because we were out in the desert somewhere. I still have no idea where the hell we were, but the commentary we had for our adventure was awesome!! I swear, any situation can be fun with that little lady. I love her.

So I finally made it home :)

Still finishing laundry for today... haven't even packed yet and I'm leaving for Vegas in like... soon! AHHHHHHHHH.

Be back late on Saturday!

Like Jesse McCartney told me to say,

"I’m leavin’ never to come back again
You found somebody who does it better than he can
No more making you cry, no more gray skies
Girl we're flyin on the G5 G5

And we're leavin’ never to come back again
So call your shawty and tell him you found a new man
The one that's so so fly
The one to keep you high
Have you singing all night, night, night"

Even though the only part that applies to me is the "leavin" part, because I'm going to Vegas. But if I had a shawty, I would tell him those words, and then I would be singing all night.

K, time to roll!

Peace Out.

Proceed With Caution

I had the most unexplainable weekend overall.

So many questions with answers that are unanswered.

Craziness.

Good News

On the plus side of things, I just took a quiz and the "Wedding Algorithm" told me that I am getting married in 4 years and 1 month.

So there is hope of finding my prince :)

Never pictured an August wedding though.

Huh.

Today has been a pretty unproductive day. I did get some laundry washed though, so that was good. Just took a niiiiicccccceeee shower, also good. But for the most part I just sat around the house all day. Sooooo, in about 20 mins when my hair dries a bit (usually takes anywhere from 1-2 hours to dry completely) I'm going for a nice walk/jog and then taking my comforter to the laundry place, getting that washed, going to stop by Ross since it's next door, then head to the grocery store to get ingredients for whatever dessert I happen to flip to in my cookbook. Yay! Dessert is to be had tonight. I need it.

And yes, there will be random dancing.

Probably only by me.

Oh! And check this out:

Hmm.

So I thought I was going to Hollywood yesterday or today, but I can't seem to get ahold of the friend I was planning on seeing.

You would think that someone who is a writer would write back.

Maybe it's because I'm not paying him enough.

...and his phone has been out of commission recently...

Possible hint I'm not taking?

Hmmm.

Dead Face.

X_X


Good night.

It's Thursday?!

Really?!

I am soooo terrible at keeping track of what day of the week it is. Yesterday felt like Friday for some reason and today feels like Wednesday. But alas, it is Thursday, and a glorious Thursday at that.

I am really enjoying my time spent at Henry Elementary School this summer. We're having a sub tomorrow so I'll get to "be in charge" again. It's always heartwarming to hear the kids say "Miss V, why can't you be our teacher?! We don't like the sub". And today I was told that I read "beautifully, with emotion". I only wish we had a substitute under more joyous conditions. The teacher I am working with recently (like yesterday) lost his father and has to deal with that at the moment. Granted, the death was expected, and as far as I know, due to old age, but I don't know how much easier that makes things. I have yet to lose anyone close to me, though I had a decent scare with my grandpa a few months back.

CSET on Saturday.

I took the practice test and got 20/26 on the English (not too bad)
and um... 11/26 on the History (Erik would not be proud)... eek! But seriously, who the hell cares about the colonies?! NOT me. I want to teach math. MATH. Ok ok, maybe 5th/6th grade and they may learn about colonies... I don't remember though, since the Liberal Studies degree has a decent amount of routes to take to uh, ya know, avoid learning anything practical for that grade level. It's no wonder upcoming teachers are hit or miss. Still though, I have a lot of work to do... I'm thinking it may take a 2nd try to pass these damn tests. Why am I going with a multiple subject credential again??

Oh oh! I did something totally out of my element. Again.

I went and saw Hancock... at 9:30pm... by... MYSELF! I have never seen a movie by myself in a theatre before. It was so crazy walking in to a completely empty theatre. I sat right in the middle towards the top- my favorite place. I put up the arm rests and took up like 3 seats (I like to sit with my legs crossed). It was actually really fun!!! I realized something too: Being single means getting everything YOU want. I'll briefly explain:

I got to see the movie I WANTED to see, when I FELT like seeing it (ok, so why I was out of the house was not caused by the desire to see a movie)
I bought a kids pack with my OWN little popcorn with the tiny amount of butter that I like.
I had a diet coke with a LITTLE bit of ice... and it DIDN'T run out before I was done with it.
I had a WHOLE pack sour patch watermelons. ALL for ME.
I sat in the MIDDLE - my favorite section.
I didn't have to FIGHT for space and I NEVER felt squished.
I STAYED for the credits and saw the extra little scene at the end.
I LEFT immediately after to go home, where I wanted to be at that hour.

and it was AWESOME.

I mean, I'm all for having a significant other and being in love is splendid, but I felt so special just being by myself. Call me selfish or whatnot, I don't care what name you put with my love of spoiling me. It had just been way too long since I have completely been... well, myself, at the movies :)

Oh- and Hancock was hilarious. I'll probably go again in a few months when it makes it over the $3 theatre in Huntington Beach.

HEY! THERE ARE MY SUNGLASSES!!

Sorry- I just saw my sunglasses! They had been missing for a few days now. YAY for finding them!

I always find things that I'm not looking for.

I wish I wasn't looking for some chocolate right now... mmmmmmmmm.

No Longer A Butterfly

So the Butterfly chapter was a fun one, but it has come to an end. I'm back to being the lone seahorse on my ceiling searching for another lone seahorse that faces towards me... and I may be on the right track right now :)

Don't worry. It's not necessary for the above writing to be understood. It makes sense to me.

So this past weekend was definitely one for the scrapbook. I worked Friday, went out for drinks after later that night and had a bit too much to drink. I was supposed to have work at 6am and would have been in some serious trouble, but fortunately I got a call saying they didn't need me to come in. Yay! So things were good. Friday night I decided that I wanted to go up to Hollywood this weekend and visit some friends of mine who I hadn't seen in...ever.

So Saturday I was on my way to figuring out how to take a train up to Hollywood when Jina said to take the Metro. Then she and Jess decided they would go to Chinatown and would take the train with me. Shortly after I was ready to head out, John and Jacqui (my aunt and uncle) came home from their little trip to Del...Rey I think? Jacqui offered to drive us to the station to catch the metro, which was incredibly nice of her to offer. About an hour later we head out and are on our way to Los Angeles. We took the blue line to the red line and I got off at Union Station. Jess and Jina continued on to Chinatown and had a pretty chill time.

Well, when I was chillin at the train station waiting for my friends, I happened to meet a boy. A very charming boy. We had a very fun conversation; however I don't remember half of it because I was so taken back by... well something about him. It was the first time I have ever felt so... overcome with... well something. Something good.

Anyways- my day went on and I saw a few random places in LA. I went up to Hollywood and chilled for a bit, saw the boy again and went out for burritos with him and a friend. Such a random Saturday night. Then I tried to watch the movie "The Departed" since I've never seen it, and I have heard it's pretty good, but being tired, I ended up going straight to bed at my friend's house.

Sunday I walked down Hollywood Blvd. a bit and stepped on a bunch of stars on the ground. It was weird being back on that street. The last time I was there was about 4 years ago with Betha when we marched in some protest against the war. Haha, that was an experience. So anyways, I went back to the train station in the early afternoon and took all of my new memories with me, symbolized by the pink Gerbera Daisies the new boy surprised me with!! I don't even remember mentioning to him that those are my favorite flowers!

I'm definitely smitten.

When I got back to Long Beach I was going to catch a bus back from downtown to my house, but I thought I would walk around downtown for a bit first. I was at the aquarium and walked around then thought, "Oh! Why not go to 2nd street and get gelato at the Italian cafe place?!" So I walked down Ocean for a bit thinking that 2nd street wasn't a whole 3 and a half miles away. Good thing I like walking!! I did get a decent sunburn on the back of my neck and my legs are still a bit sore. But I did make it to the cafe :) I also got a lil pizza at BJ's while I waited for my cousin Lee to pick me up. So nice of him.

Ah, such a fun weekend!!

I love the metro.

And Union Station.

Wow.

Ah, the sweet taste of success

So I got my A in anthropology :)

When I turned in my final, my professor told me to make sure and "live it up" since this is the time to do so. I just laughed a bit and said "I will". Timing did seem a bit interesting though... like last night I was talking about how "uneventful" my life is. And today I was talking with Lisa about "things we do for fun".

Lisa and I both had boyfriends for around 2 years and during the later months of our relationships, our social lives diminished a bit. Now, going to school and working 2 jobs had a LOT to do with this as well, and we were never "forced" to be "good kids" so to speak, but even so, craziness was minimal. Since my break-up, I have already been out more with friends in the last 3 months than in the last year. Lisa made a sad, but true point: It has been such a long time since we've had fun that now we're still finding out what exactly we do for fun.

I have a pretty decent list.

I have this sudden urge to do something so random and out of character.

Yet here I am, sitting with my laptop. Staying busy by staying in routine.

I have a feelings things are going to be made very interesting in the next couple of days.

Jess is 21!

Look out world, my cousin is officially 21 now.

WOO HOO!!

And I am off to take a nap.

Oh yeah...

and I'm a bit "smitten" at the moment :)

...and have been for many other recent moments too.

...Even though he spells his name funny :)

Smile.

Smiling makes me happy.
When I'm happy, I smile.
It's a wonderful circle.

Some other wonderful things:

Singing in church
Drying my face off with a towel from the dryer after a shower
Clean laundry
Double checking an outfit in Jess' mirror
Those "Five more minutes" before saying goodnight
Butterflies dancing their way to my heart
Not noticing silence because I'm too busy smiling
Falling asleep to stories about a little Czar Princess
Hearing excited voices saying "Hi Miss V!!"
Helping build the confidence of a 5th grade girl
Always believing in myself.
Always trusting myself.
Knowing I can do anything.

Those last three came from Tiana, one of the 5th graders I helped today. We were talking about her addition test she took. She had missed nearly half of the problems so I was working with her one-on-one to find the problem and ways to fix it. After we reviewed the addition for about 20 minutes we talked about test taking strategies. We came up with some helpful hints such as "take your time", " Take a deep breath when needed" and "have confidence". She had about half of an index card filled so I suggested that she write a note of affirmation to herself to remind her that she can be successful since her confidence was definitely diminishing with each assessment test given. Without anything else said, she wrote:

"I believe in myself. I trust myself. I can do anything"

She quietly looked up for her next instructions. I had her read it out loud and then had her add exclamation marks. She did so and smiled up at me. I told her to keep working hard and we "pounded it". She seemed happy as she went back to her desk and at lunch time she sat by everyone and joined in the conversation a bit. She is one of the more isolated and shy students with a great heart. It was a great day for me. I hope she had fun.

And now it's time for a nap :)

I love this.

HELL YEAH!

So I went for my walk tonight as usual, only this time I was determined to jog the whole strip along the water before the bridge, starting at the gate... well... I not only jogged the strip intended, but also up the bridge, down the bridge, around the turn-around (for a mini walk), back up the bridge, back down the bridge, and finished the strip!!!! I didn't stop once!!!!!! Then I did my regular cool-down walk the rest of the way home.

I feel sooooo invincible!!!!!!! YAY!!!

I need a cape.

But instead I am going to go look for board shorts or a new bathing suit... whatever works better for tomorrow. Then I have sooo much to update! :D

peace out for now.

Man I feel great!

dfjkery83740qp8yoT^&%#&@qeuhdugdfityad

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I feel better now :)

Way too much going on right now.

WAY too much.

I have the best cousins in the world.

End of discussion.

I want to go look at stars :(

And make s'mores at the beach.

Un- everything.

Let me start by saying I had an AWESOME weekend!

On Thursday night I went to the see Harold and Kumar again with Lee, Friday was the rehearsal for the wedding in Lake Arrowhead - then I came back to Long Beach since I had to get Lisa, ended up going on for the night with Ryan and his amazing friends (I seriously have never met an entire group of people that are that awesome... they rock!), got a couple of hours of sleep, drove back up to Lake Arrowhead around 6/7ish (YAY for Starbucks!!), chilled and got my hair "did", went to the wedding, went to the reception, had way too much fun talking, dancing, playing with my food (I made the face of a pig out of mashed potatoes, zuccini, cranberries, green beans and pieces of chicken), and cake frosting (Ryan, Bebe's boyfriend started that one!). Then Lisa and I came back to LB, hit up Yogurtland in our dresses, went back to her house and thought we were calling it an early night, but instead went out again with Ryan, Tim and Vicky. We thought we were going to see the movie "Wanted", but it was sold out. Instead we hit up a pool hall and played a few games. I hit the 8 ball in twice! Yeah, I know, I was surprised too.

And today I went out and saw the movie with Ryan's friends and went out to lunch. We were all going to go to the beach and the idea sounded like a great time, but I really needed to come home and study for my anthro test (i.e. the one I am procrastinating on as I type) so I was dramatically torn. I have spent the last too many months working hard and not playing and the last time I went to the beach just to chill? Hmmm... years ago? (I'm not counting last month when Lisa and I vented about our ex-boyfriends) . Then as we were walking back up to our cars to head out Ryan informs us that he's going to call it a day and head home. K, gotta be honest- he was my main reason for going out to the beach today- if I didn't have to study, I would have gone regardless, but I think I kinda like spending time with him... sigh. I don't even know about that anymore.

Which brings me to the topic of this blog entry, "un- everything". I really liked this boy, then he started acting differently. So I stepped back- kinda a bummer, but it happens (k, honestly, a first for me). His friends, like mentioned before, are awesome. End of discussion. I like hanging out with them. And right now, as it stands, I like hanging out with them way more than the boy. Like today, I would want to say something that came to mind as we were all at lunch and I would look at the boy and he'd be staring at the tv. If he even did make eye contact with me, it took too long and I was over trying to make conversation, so I would talk to Tim. Don't get me wrong- I LOVE talking to Tim. He's a great guy, but it would have been nice to talk to the boy too. It was just way awkward. I stopped thinking about it and had fun, but now I really don't know what to do.

Basically, I feel as though the boy really doesn't like me. Just plan out doesn't ever want to see me again. And normally I'd be like "peace out" and it would be done, but his friends are wonderful (I can't say it enough- great people!) and I would be oh so sad to never chill with them again. And for some crazy reason, I still kinda like him... just a little bit.

I'm tip toeing on barbed wire. Not the smartest thing to do.

Everything is unfamiliar
I've never been this unsure
Things are slowly seeming more uncomfortable
And it's making me uneasy.

*sigh*

The Good Ol' Days of Spring Semester

What a wonderfully relaxing day.

Anthro class was pretty exciting as we talked about gender roles and sexuality of various cultures. Christina (a girl who sits next to me) and Anna (ditto) were fun to talk to as usual, as was Gary (a guy who sits to my right), even though he is usually pretty quiet. We talked a bit during break about weddings since both Christina and I are attending them this weekend. Our professor, David said a good line I will keep for future weddings that I don't think will make it... he said once he was invited to a wedding. His response upon hearing the verbal invitation? "Don't invite me to the wedding, save my invite for the divorce, I'd rather attend that"... or words very close to that. Oddly enough, that couple divorced within a year of their marriage. David was pissed he didn't get the invite to the court date.

In other news totally unrelated, Erik, or rather "High King Erik the Magnificent" had some free time in his schedule and we talked for a bit today. Wow, that dude is hilarious. If you didn't know this, I feel sorry for you.

Speaking to Erik today reminded me of many things, like how great spite can be, the necessity for minions, how evil beards truly are, and most importantly, the time we watched the Sesame Street Movie, "Follow That Bird" and the greatness that unfolded throughout the night.

I don't remember why exactly Erik had to watch that movie... I believe it was because he secretly longed for it for many years now, only he could not recall the title and was too prideful to ask the help of the Blockbuster staff. I think he used the excuse like "it was a class project" even though we all know Erik is a history major and they never do anything fun like projects... especially involving Big Bird.

Anyways- so the night started out with BJs pizza in celebration of... something? Who cares why- it was pizza night!! Woo Hoo!! Erik had mentioned a Big Bird movie made back in the day. Since I had a pretty sweet childhood, of course I knew of this movie and I helped him to remember the title, "Follow That Bird". We walked down to Blockbuster after he begged and pleaded with me to watch it with him (a simple "want to watch this movie?" would have been just fine...) and sure enough, they had one copy on DVD!!! We snatched it and headed back to Erik's lil studio, while listening to fun music on his ipod.

We sang, we laughed, we cried, we... well more like I laughed at Erik for crying, and had a great time overall. Man, that crazy Big Bird is so... trusting. Luckily all of the kids he met were really nice and helped him. And I must say, Sesame Street is one great community of... "special" people. They're all a bunch of pansies, but would do anything for a friend- and loyal till the end. Needless to say, I loved the movie :) I think that may just have to become a yearly event to celebrate the end of the school year... we shall see.

After the movie, Erik and I built forts. Mine was more of a burrito with me inside. Erik won that one.

All I have to say is "Burrito, Wrap!" is better than "Drawbridge, down!" ... or at least it should be!

I love reminiscing on fantastic moments.

It's times in the past like these that make me look forward to the future.

`,:\ = Confused Face

Boys are sooo frustrating.

I'm starting to think I am better off without them.

Mornin'

Good morning world.


What trouble will we get into today? :)

Mondays are bittersweet

Here's the sweet part:

So I went to church last weekend because I'm kinda into the whole getting back to my Catholic roots thing. I looked at the bulletin, as usual, and didn't expect to see anything relevant to my life and/or interests (though I am contemplating this whole Wednesday night Bingo thing...). However, to my surprise there was a section that said Catechists needed at all levels to help with religious education...

This sparked my interest on many levels, seeing as how I am an aspiring teacher and how I like to get involved and volunteer what (little) time I have to share. Oddly enough, a few weeks ago I was wondering if there was a way to get involved in the CCD program at the church... coincidence?

So today I called up the Religious Education office to see where I could contribute and they asked me if I would be interested in teaching the 6th grade class!!! Oh wow. I was shocked!! I told them I lacked experience, but they said they were willing to train, and after all, it doesn't seem like it would be all that difficult, since it's not a year with any sacraments. I suppose this summer would be a good time to brush up on my Bible skills though.

We'll see what happens. I really hope they let me teach!!! I am going to the office tomorrow to fill out an application.

Yay for Jesus!!

Because I Couldn't Sleep Last Night

Around 2am I couldn't fall asleep still so I wrote this:

Hello there Moon
My dearest friend
So kind of you to stay.

The sun has set
The day is through
And everyone has gone away.

Yet Moon you never leave me
At night you're by my side

And when it has become the day
Still in the sky you hide.

You have seen me laugh
And seen me cry
Enhanced my smile at the beach

Guided me home when I was lost
And thought shelter was out of reach.

Moon, tonight I ask a favor
Something different than before

You see I'm not ready for tomorrow
And what may be in store.

I have no one else to turn to
Dear Moon I am so scared

Do not let tomorrow be today
I am not yet prepared.

I beg you Moon to stop the sun
Please do not let it rise

Promise me you'll be victorious-
assure the Sun's demise!

-me.

It could use some work, but for now it will do.

Overwhelmed

It's funny... I have more free time now than I did for the past... well years and still life seems to be more intense than before. It has been a crazy week, one I do not think I was ready for, and yet, here I am- alive and well.

I have just been informed that my laptop is running off of "reserve battery power", which is quickly decreasing. And it's already tomorrow... an hour into the day even.

So I will update this later. Yay for sleep! It helps the time pass.

Lack of sleep does not produce a quality title.

Yesterday was pretty awesome.

I slept in until 9ish, got my hair cut at noon, got new, much needed tank tops, had lunch with Helga, ran a bunch of errands, walked with Jess and then went out to meet up with the boy for his friend's birthday.

I love my haircut! I have the most fabulous hair dresser, Tony. He's sooooo funny (probably because he too is a Libra) and great at cutting hair! He's in his 50s (but looks 40), from Puerto Rico and when he gets excited about something his accent gets contagious. We first met when I went in for a haircut last minute on St. Patrick's Day a few years ago and he was available. That same night I went on my first date with the ex and Tony and I were pretty sure he'd be my stylist for the wedding ;) So naturally I tried to get in to see him as soon as I could after the break-up. Well I told him the story yesterday and I cannot express how FUN it was to talk about it. Tony is hilarious!! Hands were waving, jaws dropped, lips smacked, eye brows raised and lowered, and heads were shaking when I told the story. He reminded me of how much I rock and waved "bye-bye" to the ex. Ah, so many smiles were to be had at the salon. He gave me extra homework too and wished me luck with the new boy. I gave him a massive hug and bounced away still giggling a little bit.

Giggling... why do I do it?! I mean, I laugh a lot, but I never giggle. I don't get it!! I've been all... happier than usual lately. Weird.

Wow- ok, so lunch with Helga... it was very informative. I updated her on my past 6 months or so and she did the same for me. It was almost ridiculous in that some of the things I said about people on my end related to how she was acting on her end. It was difficult not to judge, but I think I held up nicely. I mean, I love Helga!! She's so... Helga! I just worry sometimes.

So I took a walk with Jess to complain about things. Jess is one of the best people ever. He has always been there for me since moving down here and he's hilarious too!! And he usually tells me I am right... because I am. Plus, he tells me the things I don't want to hear, but need to, which is good for me. And last night he helped me pick out what to wear - hahaha that was fun :) Excitement is also contagious... I love that.

So after the day had turned to night, I got a call from Ryan (yes- that is the name of the boy. I'm tired of saying "the boy") to chill in Huntington Beach for someone's birthday. I got ready (thanks Jess!!) and met up at this place called Aloha something. I was sooo nervous to meet Ryan's friends too! I really shouldn't have been- they ROCK!! I think that was probably the most fun I have had around strangers :) They were all so welcoming and fun, even when I was nearly asleep I didn't want to say bye. I really hope I see them again. Great, great people!! After I left the bar around..2 ish, I chilled at Ryan's and fell asleep for... not long enough. I got up at 4 since I had work this morning at 5am for the Special Olympics and surprisingly enough, I wasn't too tired at work! I didn't pass out until after I came home, at 8 this morning :)

K, well it's back to work and then I'm kidnapping Elyse tonight! Yay!!

I'm planning on seeing Ryan again tomorrow during my break between work and studying. *sigh of happiness*

I can hardly wait.

<3

<3

Best weekend in a long time.

That pretty much sums it up.

Being Home

Every time I come home I realize just what I have been missing out on. I have the greatest family in the universe.

I have so much to write, but I'm also going off of 4 hours of sleep and I really don't function well on less than 6 hours... but I will do my best.

I got new boots!! Did I mention how I have the absolute BEST daddy in the universe? He took me out to the tractor supply store where they also have boots and clothes... oh! And I got a shirt. Very country :) Then we all went out to eat at Ludy's, a place to get good BBQ in Woodland. I was perfectly dressed for the occasion! It was great seeing my grandparents and my Aunt Diane :) I also saw Gary and Deana who always make me feel special too... very nice people for sure. It is so funny how every time I doubt myself or feel as though I am failing, I have people to encourage me and remind me how proud they are. But why is everyone so proud? I'm just doing what I am "supposed" to be doing in life... and I'm slacking! 6 years of college starting in September...  I wish I could just say that I am modest, but to be truthful, I do not feel as though I have done enough to be proud of... yet. But I love being loved- so I'm not complaining :)

After dinner, I went with my brother to see the play my sister is in, "A Streetcar Named Desire". She plays the roll of Stella, though I wish there was some way that she could have played... well everyone else too. Seriously, if Blanche had not been committed at the end, I would have done it myself. Enough said. I did go out for drinks after with Amy and some of her co-workers so that made up for it. Soooo much fun!

So today is my Daddy's Birthday!! WOO HOO!!!! I made a cake this morning around 2am. Then, I was so graciously woken up by our puppy at 7am. It was good though because I still had to finish the frosting and add fruit to the top. I think it went over well because my dad called 30 mins after he arrived to tell me everyone loved it... and it was gone.  I knew I should have stolen a piece before frosting!!!

After I chilled a bit I went out to see Sex In The City with my sister and some of her friends. It was a really good movie! I'm glad I finally got to see it!! There were definitely parts I could relate to, and even though I haven't seen a complete episode of the show, I was able to follow the movie (Lisa and her mom were right about that), so that was a plus.

In other news, I think I should not spend too much time with the boy I like. I have a feeling I am going to get hurt, and really, it's not worth it right now. See, this boy is ridiculously cute, sweet, and chivalrous which means he's probably trouble. And I was online, about to leave him a message on facebook and it seems he's... I don't know how to word it, but I'm thinking he has more girlfriends than I do. Just a guess. Haha, gotta love the internet.

So it's back to Long Beach tomorrow :)

And then back to Woodland in a few months :)

How to Stay Awake?!

I seriously need to sleep.

I went out last night with an amazing boy and had such an great time that time itself fast-forwarded. I got home with a million tiny butterflies in my stomach that wouldn't let me sleep until well after 3:30 in the AM. Now this would not have been so bad except for the morning obligation I had, known as anthropology class... at 8am. I had my alarm set for 6:30ish so I only got about 3 hours of solid sleep.

Class was fun - the teacher is a nut!! I honestly don't remember much of the morning. We didn't start until 8:30 because our teacher has no key yet due to the administration filing his ID late. Then he told a collection of stories that consisted of adventure and... well I don't know- I was zoning out. I also met some new people, sat by Christina again and had a nice conversation about suicide and karaoke.

Breakfast was fun today. I had a Diet Dr. Pepper until Kevin kidnapped me for some baja fresh. Nothing like a quesadilla at 11am :) Oh man it was tasty. He also gave me $250 in McDonald's gift cards for helping him with his math last semester. Wow. Parfaits for... eva!! Woo Hoo!! I really wish I had more free time to hang out with Kevin. He's one of the few people in Long Beach I consider family - as much of a punk as he can be, he's awesome.

After breakfast, Lisa and I went to look at condos with her real estate agent, Kara. Oh man, it was fun!! There was one condo that had two doors leading into the bathroom and another bathroom door that connected them all... so Lisa and I opened the doors and ran around in opposite directions like crazy people. That was fun crossing paths in the closet space.

Now I'm home... trying to stay awake so that I wont be up all night, but it is so hard to do!! 

I kinda really like this boy.

Just... a little more than a little.

*sigh*

He gives me butterflies.

Balloons? Or No Balloons?

It's Lili's birthday today!!!

What a busy weekend for her! First her graduation and then her birthday. Wow. It has been way fun too! Tonight we're going to Claim Jumper's for dinner at 6:30.

I can't wait!!

Take the wings away from time- It is flying too fast!!

Man, summer school starts on Monday... as in tomorrow.

In a few hours I am going to church :) It's Father Al's last day at Our Lady of Refuge because he's moving on to another parish. He is a wonderful priest who I have enjoyed very much (the two times I've heard him)! And he's the priest who went with us to Project Achieve once in a while. Such a great guy. I will miss him and definitely wish him the best of luck :) Something tells me he wont need that, seeing as how he is pretty tight with the big man up there.

I still can't believe Lisa graduated!! I'm working on her "just because you're an awesome friend" present right now. I swear, time moves sooo fast. Seems like yesterday I was getting grass cuts between my toes from playing in the sprinklers and drinking from the hose. And riding in the truck with my daddy to go camping or fishing or anywhere... even the hardware store was fun. Though some things haven't changed- I mean, I still ask for kids' menus so I can color when I go out to eat, and dance parties are still frequent and I have some of the best friends in the world, everything is just a little different. 

I am growing up.

On the update side- I forgave him for everything he did. I do not know if it meant anything to him, but it was a struggle for me. Yay for strength from GOD. 

I really am growing up.

Let's do this.

I am a Butterfly!

Why not? Butterflies are pretty chill. 

I'm having a great day.

That's all :)

<3

It's TACO TUESDAY!

And I almost forgot... until I had to come up with a title for this blog. Wow, this day just keeps getting better :)

So I picked up my bride's maid's dress today. I absolutely ADORE Marta!! She is such a remarkable woman, always so optimistic and sweet. Her window was broken by some punk kids with a hammer yesterday afternoon. Apparently a few shops on 7th street had their windows smashed and one owner chased down the kids. He caught one, but the kid still had a hammer and broke free. I hope the cops catch them.  

Ok- so back to the dress. It looks awesome!! I'll never wear it again, but that's ok. If anyone needs a size 6-8 (it's been taken in, it was an 8 but it lost like an inch or two on the top/sides...) pastel-ish green, strapless, almost T length dress after June 28th then let me know and it's yours! It's a pretty cute dress... pictures later.

In other news, the semester is over!! I just have to work scattered days here and there, then I have summer school and it's back home to Woodland :) I'm excited to see everyone! I'll be home for my dad's 50th b-day on June 7th for that weekend, so that's cool. I haven't seen everyone since... mid January - and I was sick for most of it. 

I like having days off :)

Tonight Lisa and I are going to hit up Yogurtland and then head off to the beach to vent about ex-boyfriend things. Not much on my end. Still some unaddressed feelings, and I'm working on the forgiveness thing... I'm almost ready. New drama on Lisa's side. Boys can be so lame. But after tonight it will be better :) AND I still have my worry people from MOLAA. I love those lil guys.

Yay for Taco Tuesday!! I'm running out of dollars.

Hi-Ya!!

I've had the busiest week ever! On Monday I had class till almost 10 then went out for margaritas to celebrate Cinco de Mayo and Lisa's getting accepted to Grad school! Tuesday I worked late and watched the Pianist (WOW). Wednesday is what led me to the title of this blog- I went out for a drink with Lisa at the Nugget after my night class because I had some time to kill before I went to Demetrius' basketball game. We ran into a classmate of mine (still don't know his name!! EEK!) and just talked about random fun things. Then another classmate of mine from a different class approached us and asked if I was doing to salsa dance tonight. What?

Jack, my classmate, then preceded to teach me a few moves right there- next to the pool tables. It took me a while until I realized the salsa club was meeting there and having dancing that would take place 10 mins later. So we all decided to stay a bit. Lisa, Jack, the dude, and I joined in the group lessons. Well, apparently there was a move that called for the ladies to do a "seductive" kick... and being a karate kid in training, that really didn't work for me. Luckily I didn't hurt anybody... that I know of. 

One thing I really don't get about salsa is the counting. It goes "1,2,3...5,6,7" um.. what?! Where is the 4?! I had a bit of difficulty leaving out the 4... but I think I did ok :)

Then Lisa and I left and watched the game- it was so fun! I met a guy named Kyle whom I had served food to in the dorms many times, just never met. He helped me shout things at the game like "Do Work Son!" and "Get Off Me Girl" and my favorite "Get Off Your Knees Ref- You're Blowing the Game!" hehehe.

Thursday was another late working night. Last night I went to SDSU with the AVID class, got paid (woo hoo!), celebrated my uncle John's birthday with my amazing family and the wonderful food they create, and then went to Erik's to watch the first Narnia movie. Sooo much fun! He had massive snacks, a chair with wheels, a book about cheese and some sweet music to pillow fight to. Good times. Ah, Deutschland.  

And today I plan on doing laundry, catching up on homework, and seeing what Shaun is up to... ok ok and maaayyybbbbeeee straightening my room up again. I am really  enjoying this single life more than I expected... but it does suck having to keep a clean room all the time, just in case.

Happiness is...

Happiness may be many things, but right now the most important is having great friends and family :)

Because of everyone, I have done quite well when it came to dealing with the break-up thus far.

Though there will be times when I will miss having a best friend like Nicholas, I have others I can turn to who love me just the same.

I'm taking the good, learning from the unfortunate and moving on... slowly but surely :)

Tomorrow has become today, and this day belongs to me.

And I will be fine :)

K bye...

Last night Nick and I broke up.

Somehow, I did finish all of my papers : ) Didn't proof read them though, my eyes hurt from crying and lack of sleep at 2am. Didn't sleep much or well last night. Woke up at 5, then 5:45. I feel sooooo sick.

I don't know how I'm going to make it through the day right now. Like Jael said, it's ok to grieve and right now I need a break for my self.

But I don't even have enough time to take time off.

Good think I'm a fighter.

Nick wasn't. He just sat there. All... awkward like. I hated it.

*sigh*

I went to yawn and more tears came out :`(

and it's taco tuesday :`(

:`(        :`(          :`(             :`(                :`(

AHHHHHHHH

RRRRRAAAAAAAWWWWWWWRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!

Didn't sleep much last night.

I did finish one of the 7 papers due this week though. I'm working on the second one (the other one due today) right now... 2/4 pages done :)

I have 5 more tonight to type up... all due tomorrow for the same Health Science class "portfolio"... I'll be so glad when that class is over. It's a really fun class, just difficult and a lot of it is individual, frustrating work, which is the last thing I'd like right now.

Nick should probably be home by now... wouldn't know though as he hasn't called. At least I'm not disappointed anymore. 

Grandpa should be going home today : ) 

I have a test tonight : (

I have another test Wednesday : (

Erik will most likely be buying me yogurtland in a couple of weeks : )

AND Erik will most likely work at hbhs next semester with me : )

I may be getting a new job : )

My room is pretty clean : )

The weather is supposed to be nice today : )

I'm going to coffee bean for a hazelnut ice blended : )

I'm still heart broken a little bit : (

I have the best friends and family in the world : )

Always end on a good note. 

Bring it on Monday, I'm as ready as I'll ever be.

Hospital?!

I got home from work today around 2:30pm. I didn't have my cell phone at work because I was afraid that I would be checking it constantly to see if my boyfriend called. Well it was no surprise, when I finally made it back to my cell phone, that he had in fact not called. Instead, I had 3 voicemails and a few text that made my heart sink even lower than it had been for the past week or so.

My grandpa, who is going to be 93 on Tuesday, is in the hospital.

He was having chest pains and they took him in. His blood pressure was found to be higher than it should have been.  They are taking good care of him and he is supposed to be out in a couple of days. 

I really hope he makes it.

I called his hospital room and the line was busy. I'll call back in a little while.

*tear*

!!!!Update!!!!

Grandpa Trautt is doing much better :) He's set to be out tomorrow!! Thank the Lord!!

Done.

I'm done. 

My boyfriend has left for the weekend to the Coachella music and arts festival. I haven't actually talked to him since he left. We got into an argument on the way out, over the phone and I had to fake like everything was ok in hopes that he wouldn't do anything stupid this weekend.

But everything isn't ok.

I'm done trying to keep this relationship together. I feel like I am the only one working at it because he doesn't want to break up, yet he is not SHOWING me that he cares. 

I am afraid that my flashlight will be the only light at the end of this tunnel... and the batteries are dying fast.

In a few more days I'll probably be headed down the other road, with only one thing for sure; I will be single.

There is still hope for this relationship if he thinks there is. After all, it is because of his shift in personality and need to live it up that has  changed everything. It's not a matter of who is to blame, people should change as they grow older. This is just not a change that I like.

I wish I had my best friend back.

I really miss him.

More than anyone.

If you see him, will you let him know? Just ask him to come back home...

If you can even find him.

The Beginning Of The End?

Life is all about new beginnings. From daycare or preschool to college to the "real world" and everything in between. My life, in particular, has felt as though it was ending many times. Equally, I have felt rejuvenated and brought back to life with sophistication and radiance.

At the moment my life is at a standstill.

I am at a fork in the road with both paths leading to uncertainty. The first road continues my relationship with my boyfriend of two years in hopes of a permanent future. It holds the prospect of many great memories, a guaranteed shoulder to cry on, someone to dance with at any given moment- with or without music, and a best friend.

On the other hand, the second road begins with a new life of independence from my relationship. 

There is no other certainty.

How do you know when you've found the right person to spend the rest of your life with? And, if you have found this person, how do they know if you're the right person for them? 

I have been standing at this road for two weeks now just waiting for a friendly face to lure me to their side. As the loneliness becomes greater, my ability to think logically is slowly being overruled by my need for someone to trust wholeheartedly

... even when they're lying